There is a background story that must be known in order to see the passion I have acquired. My flute -the hallmark of my talents a as musician- was named Miracle, for she survived an atrocious accident: getting run over by my mom’s Toyota. however, that is not the only reason. Although one should aim to be humble, I can testify to the astounding gift of music I have acquired through countless days of practice and the benevolence of musical insight. Whereas some are quick to dismiss the flute as merely an instrument, just another tool to create sound, I perceive this piece of silver as a vessel to express my emotions in the most quintessential manner -a miracle.
Even with the congestion of economic troubles, it was my mother who emotionally and financially supported me and my trusty companion. Though very grateful, I could not bear the anticipation set for me to be successful; sadly, this became manifested in what is conventionally called stage fright. My first flute competition conjured emotions of the same ilk: anxiety, fear, and stress. My mother, being the lovely lady she is, bid me love and smile with a whisper louder than a cannon’s shot, “Sing!” I never entered a stage without letting my mother’s voice ring internally to comfort me with her eternal arms. With newfound confidence, I entered to see a panel of prominent judges. The next moment I remember afterwards is the walk to our car. I left the competition with no awards or acknowledgement.
Tasting frustration, I used this time yearning to heighten myself with elongated hours of practice. I could not relinquish my dreams of becoming a virtuoso- not yet. Due to complaints form neighbors in our apartment complex, I practiced in the bathroom situated at the furthest edge of our home. Unashamed, I was willing to practice anywhere, whether it be in the closet or the garage. What benevolence it was to even dream of playing an instrument and creating music with an enthralling story in itself! To this day, the bathroom is a place in which I am most attached and indebted to. This was where I chronicled my diary of learning, musically and personally, as I shed my dispirited heart to make room for growth and healing. In fact, this unorthodox practice room was blessing in disguise as the particular acoustics that a tiled room created enabled me to hear every nuance in my sound quality with an increasingly refined ear. Having strengthened my technical weakness and having put together my own personal interpretation of music, I performed int he proceeding competition with more maturity and clarity than I had ever had before. As the crowning reward of art, all my previous competition failures, hours of practice in the cramped quarters of my bathroom, and consciousness of my family’s relentless love all accumulated to help me produce the finest performance defined by me. Gratefully enough, I was given an opportunity to give back what I was blessed with.
Every Sunday at church, I accompany the praise team with my flute in a service called the Love Ministry: a specialized institution particularly for the mentally challenged. In all honesty, I was initially guilty of both sentiments myself, wondering whether the songs and sermons could even be understood by these types of people who showed various signs of developmental delay. I assembled my flute, played mechanically, and left thoughtlessly each week. One day, I realized that I did not have the slightest idea of what the members of the ministry even looked like. Disturbed by this, I decided to pay attention to those for whom I was playing for. Every face displayed pure and unadulterated happiness. Not a hint of worry or regret marred their very apparent joy, I was humbled and ashamed of my prior obliviousness. All I could do was to make amends to say thank you, forgive me, and I love you. Thank you for epitomizing selflessness with your undemanding natures; forgive me for being unable to help in a greater way; and I love you for being such exemplars of innocence and grace. Graciously, these people have shown me just how unjustified and ignorant both positions are. They have made me ponder who really the minister was, as more was realized and learned through these precious people than any words or songs. Through their collective acts, my previously pretentious self has become increasingly understanding and modest- forever changed for the better.
I was not immune to the call for action stirringly expressed by Robert F. Kennedy’s “A Ripple of Hope” speech: “Few will have the greatness to bend history itself, but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and int he total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.” My previous experiences have molded my dream. I was taught that a musician’s goal is to change the emotional state of their audience. Using the financial aid and education, I foster the hope that Miracle and I will work together to bring forth miracles of our own. As a professional performer, I want to urge people to feel raw joy or sadness through music and reflect within themselves or forget about life for a moment. As a flute teacher, I want to discipline future young adults to see the power of music and aid the world in their ways through music. As a music therapist, I would like to prescribe music, not medicine to the mentally challenged friends.
Unfortunately, I must admit that my financial position is very weak as of today. With humbled gratitude, I plan to use the scholarship rewards as assistance to completing my educational plans. I am happily imagining a portable laptop I can use away from home, or new books that will teach me in lieu of a professor who will be busy at all times. The materials are important of course, but my dreams that I walked through in this writing would have become bubbles if I did not have the financial ability to, essentially, receive professional education in college. Dear staff and representatives of this scholarship, no words will suffice to express my gratitude for your time and consideration. Although the only thing I can do now is to receive, I promise to myself and you that I truly wish to give back in the future what I have received today. i was taught that a musician’s goal is to change the emotional state of their audience. Using the financial aid and education, I engender the hope that Miracle and I will heal those who are hurt.